A Playground Called Romance: Love, Make Up Sex, & Heartbreak With "Twilight"

It began in October. I would see their faces in passing, on the uptown M102 bus, or on the downtown (6) train. Their skin white as snow, his hair in a breezy pomp, her vulnerable expression. Little did I know that I would soon be spending many of my nights with these two pale-faced creatures.

In New York City, we read. We read on the subway, on the street, in the coffee shop, on the bus. I always glance up from whatever it is that I'm reading and take a gander at the reading material of my fellow subway passengers. I noticed a change this fall, every book cover looked the same as the next person's book cover. A black background, a pale hand holding a juicy red apple, a silky blood red ribbon, a blooming flower. "What is this novel sensation everyone holds in their hand?," I asked myself. Then, one day my sister handed me the familiar book. I took it home, I sat down, I flipped to the first page and began reading. It was only a matter of time before I was taken by the Twilight sensation.

Vampires are 'in' and everyone knows it. But Stephanie Meyers, author of the Twilight series, has created more than just a simple story of vampires and old-school legends. It's a four part addiction. The experience of reading Meyers' series: Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn is similar to being in an unhealthy relationship driven by infatuation and sexual frustration. But no matter how blue your balls are or how twisted your panties get, you keep on reading 'til the end.

Twilight commences your sordid love affair. It's those first two weeks, when you first meet that special someone. No flaws are revealed, just sweet sweet tender passion. You never want to let go. Bella, the clumsy adolescent yearns for Edward, the epitome of dangerous perfection. They can't get enough of each other, and neither can the reader.

By New Moon you're still in the game, but you've caught on to your lover's weaknesses. I can't give anything away but tears are shed and conflict arises. (I know, that last sentence gives no clues whatsoever).

You can't stop but sometimes you just want to end it, walk away before anyone gets hurt. Forget it, you open Eclipse and shit goes down. You and your lover have had your ups and downs, big downs, but the make up sex is amazing.

Breaking Dawn. Well, what can I say? You've gotten this far and you feel like you're giving more than you need to give in this relationship but you're just not seeing the best results. Then you sit your lover down and have a serious talk. Things get better. Things get great. You both forget about all of the bad times you've had. But. But, it's just not working out and for some reason the end is inevitable. It's over. It's not you, it's me. I can't give anymore to this relationship. Heartbreak, pain, puffy eyes, lots and lots of chocolate.

I can't go into the details of the recovery process, but this doesn't mean you shouldn't jump into this relationship just like I did. I learned a lot from it and Bella, Edward and I are still friends. So, if you haven't diagnosed me as some singleton who hasn't gotten any in awhile, and you think you're ready for a serious relationship, then clear your schedule for the next couple of weeks and spend your nights spooning with the Twilight series.